His Lost Lycan Luna by Jessica Hall Chapter 178

Read His Lost Lycan Luna by Jessica Hall Chapter 178 – Azalea POV

Nothing felt real, yet the pain in my heart was proof it was. My mind felt numb, like it was refusing to feel, it’s amazing how one’s mind can forfeit and leave to protect you from caring. I welcomed it yet also hated it. I was irrevocably undeniably numb. Seeing Kyson though, I was worried. He drank so much, copious amounts but he never left my side. I knew he was hurting because I could feel that through the bond. His pain was something I could feel, but I disassociated with it, knew it wasn’t my pain though I also knew it was the same pain. Only now I was adding to his torment.

Yet I didn’t care, didn’t care about anything, I didn’t care about living, I didn’t care about d***g, I just merely existed. Numb to everything but also numb to nothing. However, as the days passed, I was still stuck trying to remain anchored to this unfeeling place, yet I also knew I couldn’t stay here. Withdrawing more and disappearing into myself couldn’t be permanent.

As I watched life pass in my silence l wondered, is this it? Is this all it will ever be and will I always be this way?

I reached a point where I no longer identify myself with the man who is my mate or identify as anyone really, maybe because for so long I had no identity and yet what our child would have offered was one. Maybe that is why, maybe that is why it hurt so much to lose something I never had a chance to love, maybe because along with losing it, I also lost another piece of an identity I couldn’t keep. Mum.

I thought I found myself, and then I lost it all over again and I suddenly wanted to know why. Why did he pretend to be my friend only to literally stab me? How could he Harbor so much anger for someone he would hurt them like that? Why did he take the one thing that was mine from me?

I had so many questions left unanswered. Questions that stopped me functioning because they plagued every thought. Consumed me entirely, yet as I returned to my surroundings, I wasn’t sure if I had slept or was already awake the entire time, the room came into focus and my mate slept soundly beside me.

He stirs and rolls closer, burying his nose in my hair, his breath was warm on my neck. Worry resided in our bond even while he slept, as he sought to comfort me. However, I knew no comfort would come until I had answers. I needed to understand, needed it to move on, I needed to know what I did to deserve it, I needed to know it wasn’t my fault. Though some part of me did know that, doubt still nagged at me, like I was to blame for the whole thing.

Reluctantly, I forced myself out from under Kyson’s heavy arm that was draped over my waist. Moving across the room, I grabbed his robe, I needed the comfort of his scent, and his robe gave me that as I tiptoed to the door.

Peering back at him, he remained asleep.

He would be mad, or maybe he wouldn’t, I wasn’t sure. So much had changed and yet remained the same.

Though I had seen yet another side of Kyson, multiple in fact over the last few days.

One that he loved me fiercely not leaving me alone despite his own anguish, two that he had a really bad alcohol problem. I never realized its true extent until I was locked in a room with him for so long, it made me wonder if that was how he drank all the time.

A few occasions he drank himself to oblivion, and I could feel the tremors of his hands as he touched me when he went without it, feeling the frustration as he fought the urge to find himself in the bottom of another bottle, yet the bottle always won in the end.

That was something we would have to address later, for now I needed to move before I decided to crawl back in bed and wallow in my own misery, so l twisted the handle and stepped out the doors to find Trey. He looked at me as if he was seeing a ghost as I slipped out the door and closed it gently. He appeared hesitant when I moved toward him before he grabbed me, crushing me against his chest.

“Thank g*d,” he whispered before holding me at arms length.

“Where’s you King?” He glances at the door behind me before leaning down to look at my face, his eyes sparkled with sadness, endless hazel depths of worry stared back at me.

“Sleeping,” I said, though my throat hurt to use my voice and came out raspy.

“I shall wake him for you,” he says, though I shake my head. Kyson needed sleep, I knew how little he had, knew how exhausted he was, also knew he would feel like s**t after how much he drank last night before he succumbed to it.

“Let him sleep, but I have a favor to ask of you,” I told Trey.

“Yes, whatever you need,” he answers swiftly, while standing straight again.

“I want to see Peter,” I admitted. He opens his mouth no doubt to deny me but I hold my hand up silencing him.

“I need this please, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t, yet I know Kyson won’t let me, and believe he is doing it to protect me, but I need this,” I plead, hoping he wouldn’t wake Kyson to tell him of my plans. Treys eyes turn black and he looks torn but my blood is his sire, my blood he is oathed to.

“Can you at least tell Kyson, I am not comfortable going against him and he would see this as a betrayal,” Trey pleads. I do and he may lock me in the room, or just go k**l Peter without questioning him.

“You won’t, will you?” Trey sighs and rubs his eyes.

“At the very least, let me wake Liam to come with us, just to be extra safe,” I agreed, one could never be too careful.

We met Liam in the kitchens, he was still in his pajamas, which sat low on his hips, his chest was b**e and a tattoo of a beast clawing out of chest was tattooed on his skin.

He tugged a tank top on as he walked in making me wonder how close his room was to the kitchens. Shaking that thought away, he drops a hand on my shoulder.

“Lass, maybe you should let Kyson deal with Peter,” he says, I shake my head. I needed answers then Kyson could deal with him.

“Aren’t children off limits?” I wondered how it would be possible. Would Kyson break the very laws he swore to uphold?

“Not when it comes to treason, there is an exception to every rule,” Liam explains.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, I wasn’t sure if I felt anything at his words. Trey walks ahead into the pantry opening up the door inside that went to the stairs under the castle.

A chill rushed through me as we descended the stairs and I stayed close to Trey and Liam, using them like shields and they happily obliged as we navigated the winding tunnels before stopping at the cells. It was dark here with the dim lighting and two guards stood either side of the cell.

Trey snarls and Liam places his hand on my side as if he was ready to rip me from the place, yet my eyes were on the boy that sat huddled in the corner, looking like the weight of the world rested solely on his shoulders.

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